fear

Fear.

The fear of death makes us live every day.

A primal emotion rooted in our evolutionary past.

It triggers our ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ response, preparing us to face threats and escape danger.

It is an intrinsic part of the human experience, often perceived as a negative emotion.

People perceive fear as something to be ‘feared’ of.

But they don’t realize it is in fact fear—that makes us live.

All of us have fears.

Spiders, heights, social conversations, loneliness, judgment.

It is everywhere. Here are the most common psychological fears that I’ve faced (or) seen people face:

1. Fear of Failure: A significant barrier that prevents you from pursuing opportunities due to the embarrassment associated with failing.

2. Fear of Rejection: Inhibits social interactions and relationships, making you hesitant to engage with others or ask for what they want.

3. Fear of Uncertainty: You resist change due to the fear that new experiences may not improve your situation.

4. Fear of Being Judged: Prevents you from expressing your true self or taking risks in social situations.

I had the longest fear of talking in public, believe it or not.

I was so scared of talking that I eventually started to stutter. And this was something that affected me on a day-to-day.

I’d refuse to go shopping because I have to talk to the cashier. I’m not kidding.

I was so afraid I’d stutter that I’d just exit the room. I never tried.

Even rarely these days, that feeling comes back. The fear. The paralyzing of your tongue. I just stood there as if I had a frog in my throat.

But eventually, I got over that. I was so convinced my stutter was something permanent, and I had forced myself to live with it.

Little did I know, it wasn’t permanent, it was just a mental construct.

I had never stuttered before this.

As I grew older, and the importance of being accepted by my friends and teachers became my #1 priority, I started to kinda constantly think about whether I was going to say the right things.

The stutter that came was pretty much the side-effect of this newfound fear.

So the day I finally told myself that:

‘Alright bro, looks like you’re stuck with this life. Might as well get used to it.’

…I became less and less aware of what I was saying all the time, because ‘the stutter was going to ruin it anyway’.

Guess what? I lost the stutter a few months later.

Two things to take away from my little story here:

ONE: The only reason I ever came over this situation, was because unknowingly, I had acknowledged my fear of speaking in public.

I came to terms with the fact that this is something I am afraid of.

And

TWO: I started to look at this from a different perspective, thinking that speaking my mind confidently is something I should get better at.

And I did.

I watched videos on how to talk better and pronunciation. Little mantras I’d tell myself if I felt myself getting stuck.

I got over my fear by accepting it and looking at it as an area for growth.

We are all driven by fear.

The fear of failure pushes us to be the best.

The fear of rejection helps us have the confidence to do 100 cold calls.

The fear of judgment makes me want to speak my mind out—any place, anytime.

I know these statements all seem contradictory, but this is possible.

The greatest people in all their fields and careers are a testament to this.

But only because they did two things:

1. Acknowledge their fear

2. Reframe their perspective

Do one thing today that brings you out of your comfort zone.

Baby steps.

Remember, fear is inevitable.

So why not weaponize it? 🗡️