comfortable complacency

Let’s imagine you are going out somewhere.

It’s Saturday night, and you’re tired from the week and just wanna de-stress with your boys at the local pub.

Say the place is less than a kilometer away, you’ll probably end up walking it. 🚶

If it’s more than a kilometer, you’ll probably drive there. 🚙

So if you think about it,

It will take you less time to travel 2 km compared to 1, since you switched your mode of transport.

You will travel 2 km faster than you do 1.

Let’s take another example —

Your friend.

She’s been talking about how she wants to quit her job for months and months now.

“Yeah but the pay is nice, they do have free food here and my bosses are nice sometimes, so maybe I’ll wait and see for a while.“

Same with another guy, who eats junk every day.

“True bro, but it’s been a week and I haven’t gained any fat. I feel fine!“

…

In conclusion:

All these people would be better, if their situations were worse.

‘The chasm of comfortable complacency’, as Chris Williamson terms it.

Three doors:

→ If things are good, great!

→ If things are bad,
Okay, I need to turn this around and make it better.

And door 3:

→ If things are just about passable…

You become comfortably numb.

The situation you’re in. The environment. The work.

Because it doesn't pose a direct and immediate threat to you, there is no motivation to change it now.

Yes, it has its own pricks and thorns.

But because of the other niceties it brings along with it, you are now trapped in the middle — the chasm of comfortable complacency.

You end up staying in that job, that apartment, that relationship — way longer than you should have.

Sometimes,

Worse situations make you better than better situations.

No one looks twice at why things go right.

But all eyes are on when things turn bad.

Only when we are forced to take action, do we act.

When the situation becomes too unbearable, and the environment becomes too hostile.

We consciously know that if we continue, things are gonna turn sour.
But, we end up waiting for it to happen, so we have a reason to take action.

We end up putting ourselves through all that hurt and pain, for something we know is bound to happen…

just so we finally have probable cause (external motivation) to change the way things are.

It’s weird the way we are wired. 🧠

I personally understand how much this realisation has affected me, and now all I do (might be psychotic),
is to imagine things worse than they are.

And yes yes I know, it’s not the best mental model to have. 🫣

But it’s a work in progress. Hopefully, I get better at handling it.

So there you go, worse situations probably make you better than better situations do.

It’s like the old Tamil saying ‘pattadhan puriyum’ which roughly means ‘you’ll only realise it until you go through it.’

Hot tip: Don’t let things turn bad before you take a look at them.

Learn to recognize patterns and make small changes before they drag out too long and drain time & energy from you

Whether it’s a job you don’t like, a relationship you don’t feel comfortable in, or a moldy apartment — make that effort to feel better.

If it means being honest with your bosses or talking to your partner.

Yes, it’s gonna be uncomfortable.

But most times, the hard conversations are the ones you gotta have.

…before things go from bad to worse.

Have the BEST week ahead.